Did it Again!

Okay, had the wife and kids over yesterday after church and was doing well for the most part. I was still feeling a little sore from the sledding incident, but we were somewhat harmonious. The wife and I were watching netflix downstairs and the kids were watching their cartoons on the upstairs t.v. Everything seemed well. But, after they left, I had a couple beers and was calling it a night. When I get upstairs I realize the Roku remote is MIA. Can't find it. So, I do what any intelligently inebriated person would do in the same situation and call the wife to find out from the kids if they know where the remote is. Okay, no answer and her phone goes to voicemail. I'm feeling upset at the moment, but did find the remote under the bed covers as I was ranting into the phone on the wife's voicemail. Not real sure what I said in the voicemail due to my brain being anesthetized by the alcohol, (in my defense, I did say nevermind though after I found the remote) but I get a text from the wife today that says, "It's called my phone being dead on the charger!! Sorry you were so inconvenienced. We'll try to stay out of you hair from now on".

Wow, that seems pretty harsh considering it was just an "inconvenience" on my part. But, hey it's all me and I accept the blame. Honestly, that's not easy for me to say. All I can really say is that I did it again. I did or said something to offend my wife while under the influence. When will I learn?!? When will I learn that I cannot function properly, either personally, socially, or even holistically (sorry, needed something else to throw in here) when practicing alcoholism? Not sure, but I think it's called a "delusion". This is the insidiousness of the disease. It leads you to believe that you are in control when you are very obviously not!

The sad part is my wife doesn't believe it's a disease at all. She believes that I should be able to overcome it through the power of JESUS! And this is very possible if I change my addiction to alcohol to an addiction to Jesus, religion, or any other popular philosophical venue. "There is Power in the Name of JESUS"! Am I being defiant or disobedient? I don't know, maybe. But, I feel that I am who I am. I was created in God's image and made perfect in His eyes. There must be a reason for me to be here and I know God has a plan for all of us. So - - - - what is it?